Letting Go vs. Holding On


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Letting Go vs. Holding On
by Kumari, Vedic Astrologer.

For close to twenty years, I have been reading Unity's Daily Word. Each month, there is always a reminder to "Let go and Let God." Which for most of us is easier said than done! How many times have you been faced with the universal dilemna which demands that you make a personal decision to "let go" of some situation or relationship, or decide to "hold on" no matter how difficult it gets? Many times in these incidences, the clear and proper action for the highest good of ourselves and all concerned, is just not very clear. We can think of just a few situations where the choice to hold on would seem obviously beneficial: if you have just fallen over a cliff, and are hanging on to the the edge for dear life, it is a good idea to "hold on" until help arrives. If your suspenders have broken in a crowded subway, and you are wearing your big brother's too large hand-me-down pants, it is a good idea to hold on! And certainly when the little Dutch boy of legend kept his finger in the dike to prevent the town from being flooded, no doubt the entire village was grateful that he held on. But this type of clear-cut choice is not what most of us get presented with in our day-to-day lives. Too often it has more to do with staying in jobs that totally bore us or have nothing to do with the innate creativity we possess or life mission we were born to do, or whether to stay in a stale or even abusive relationship, etc. Sometimes a choice is made to stay with what is known (though troublesome or boring) rather than take that risk of facing the "unknown". Many times people seem more afraid of that great unknown "Road Not Taken" than of any existing troubles they are already enmeshed in. This is known as being in a rut! In his book "The Secret of Letting Go", Guy Finley explains that "almost every kind of unhappy feeling is the result of mistaking the partial for the whole." So we seldom see the whole picture, especially in these moments of anxiety or depression, and then the choices we make are based more on small thinking and fear, which leads to self-defeating reactionary behavior. He also states that it is only our REACTION to the scary or undesirable condition that is the real problem. So, "if you will become conscious of your condition instead of afraid of it, you will change forever your relationship with fear" according to Finley. The whole subject of fear and its negative impact on our lives is worthy of an entire essay (or several) in its own right. Two books I highly recommend on this subject are: "Never Fear, Never Quit" by Joe Tye, and "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. In my work I often have to remind my clients that if we carry the baggage of our past into the present, it can ruin our future. Many of us have come from dysfunctional families, to one degree or another, and this has an inevitable impact on our adult romantic partnerships. Going through an exercise of "cutting the ties" to one or both parents can be extremely helpful to experience a liberation from old, negative self-destructive patterns. I recommend Phyllis Krystal's book "Cutting the Ties That Bind" for some good results in this arena. One of the regrettable losses of our "modern society" has been the lack of any type of coming of age rites of passage to adulthood for young men and women. In other societies, especially in times gone by, there was a specific set of events and ceremonies celebrating the young person's entry into adulthood. The individual in this situation had more self confidence and sense of purpose, knowing what was than expected of him or her, and his or her new place and status in society. These significant social transitions have been studied and carefully reported by anthropologists for many years. It is my belief that the reason we are now experiencing the rise of teenage "gangs" and tightly-bonded misfit groups who are acting out in destructive ways, is that the traditional demarcation from childhood to adulthood is in a state of confusion in our society. Some state courts try people of a certain age as an adult, and the state next door may try the same aged offenders as juveniles. There is no consistent standard in many areas of social life, as many valuable traditions of past eras have been lost. On this "schoolhouse planet", a planet of relationships, we are offered no courses in school on "How to Be a Good Wife or Husband 101", or "How to Be a Good Parent 102" etc. Once out of the nest, offspring will most likely replicate what they experience in their growing up years, for better or worse. If some of the older traditions and basic values would have been held onto, there would be fewer problems in our legal system today and less confusion in young people about what is expected of them by society. Sometimes "letting go of mommy's apron strings" can take years of psycho-therapy. For now, the best we can do may be just "holding on" to our sanity and our sense of humor!

Kumari is a Vedic Astrologer in the Eastern Tradition with over 12 years experience as a reader and counselor. She uses astrology (and psychic impressions) to guide her clients on matters of relationships and career. Kumari is available for phone readings at 303-473-9393. Email Kumari or visit her website at www.vedicstarcharts.com.

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